asker

fluffyrabidkitten asked: I'm curious as to your opinion on bdsm. Since you're such an advocate for female rights and an avid supremacist, I really do want to know your personal opinions on it. On a completely different note, I love how you're so honest and unwavering in your ideals.

plaidfem:

Bdsm sexualizes violence, and since sexualized violence is the most pressing issue facing women world wide, I am very much against it.

Many bdsm advocates pose bdsm as akin to sexuality, something you are born with and beyond your control. I don’t believe this is true.

If you look around, female sexuality (which is always displayed as heterosexuality) is very much “supposed” to be submissive (and I know not all female bdsm-ers are submissive, but the majority are). Bdsm isn’t subversive, it is very much playing into the dominant narrative of female sexuality — that women exist to please and serve men, and that male violence against women is “sexy” and how sex is supposed to be.

Two quick examples off the top of my head — the violent language surrounding sexuality (pounded her, tore her up) and the accepted “truth” that losing your virginity is, for women, supposed to be painful.

This idea of sexuality is directly responsible for the oppression of women, and bdsm upholds this 100%. And then on top of that, much of bdsm goes even farther, to outright sexualize rape and abuse, and even murder.

Looking at a beaten and battered woman and feeling sexually aroused will never be anything but a sign of sociopathy, and getting a group of these men together and praising them for their “courage” in admitting their true nature is dangerous to women. Getting women who want to be abused and dehumanized (and I view sexual masochism as similar to people who want to cut or otherwise harm themselves — a sign of mental instability/trauma) and introducing them to these men, setting them up and facilitating their abuse, is, obviously harmful.

I do not believe you can get off on harming other people, or the idea of harming other people, and be a good person. The two are mutually exclusive.

As for pairings other than male dom/female sub, I find them wrong, but not near as wrong as male dom/female sub, because those relationships are enforced by our entire society, because those relationships are the most literal manifestation of misogyny and male abuse of women.

So quick run down:

male doms — the absolute worst, deserve slow and painful deaths

female doms — not good

male subs — unhealthy, need to get out of those relationships for their own well being

female subs — unhealthy, have been manipulated into enjoying their own oppression and are facing some severe physiological problems because of that, are being exploited and are in very real danger

Umm, I think that about explains my position, if I wasn’t clear about anything, let me know.

This is the perfect synopsis of why BDSM is extremely destructive for women (not empowering at all) and deleterious to female sexuality in general. 

I would add, that female doms are unhealthy as well. I fully advocate female violence against men- perps and harassers, abusers and everyone in between. Anger at our oppressors is natural and completely justified. Beating the shit out of a man and subjecting him to a dollop of humiliation is just.. well it feels really, really, really fucking great. But that is not a healthy relationship! Exercising your demons out on someone that you trust and love is maladaptive. Its far better to find a constructive outlet for the rage.

Like martial arts. Krav Maga! 2 birds, 1 stone. Learn to annihilate perps and work out the anger its kind of perfect.      

  1. aphlicted reblogged this from radicalmuslimfeminist
  2. gacaliso reblogged this from radicalblossoming
  3. fanfemme reblogged this from dirtydarwin
  4. catsbonerjams reblogged this from cunicular and added:
    this perspective has really changed a lot of things for me
  5. cunicular reblogged this from unapologeticradfem
  6. yourlocalfreak reblogged this from kinksterbullshit
  7. brett-caton reblogged this from gothicdiscordian and added:
    To be fair, if i was good at martial arts, I think I would bloody orgasm!
  8. gothicdiscordian reblogged this from drziggystardust and added:
    As a woman who has been in BDSM for about 8-9 years, I can’t disagree more. You clearly have no idea what the dynamics...
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